


Incorrect Gangreen Quotes

by scaryfangirl2001



Series: Correctly Stated Incorrections [9]
Category: Powerpuff Girls
Genre: M/M, TV Fusion - Rick and Morty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-10 13:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19906702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scaryfangirl2001/pseuds/scaryfangirl2001
Summary: Chapter 1: Revolves around the adventures of the members of the Smith household, which consists of parents Mojo and Bubbles, their children Blossom and Buttercup, and Bubbles' father, Ace Copular and his boyfriend Snake, who live with them as a guest.





	Incorrect Gangreen Quotes

**Ace** : Boy, you're really gonna flip your lid over this one.

 **Snake** : Oh, w-wh... what is it?

 **Ace** : It's a device, Snake, that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's _dreams_ , Snake. It's just like that movie you keep crowing about!

 **Snake** : You're talkingss about _[Inception](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Inception)_?

 **Ace** : That's right, Snake! This is gonna be a lot like that, except y'know, it's gonna _me-beh_... make sense.

 **Snake** : _Inception_ made sssense!

***************************************************************

**[Ace and Snake are running naked around town in an alien simulation chamber]**

**Snake** : Ace! [ **Ace pushes their clothes in sewer** ]

 **Ace** : Uhp-uhp-uhp! Snake, keep your hands off your ding-dong! It's the only way we can speak freely. Look around you, Snake. Do you really think this wuh-world is real? You'd have to be an idiot not to notice all the sloppy details. Look, that guy's putting a bun between two hot dogs.

 **Snake** : I dunno, Ace, I mean, I've sseen people do thatss before.

 **Ace** : Well, look at that old lady. She's-she's walking a cat on a leash.

 **Snake** : Uh, Miss Keane doesss that all the times, Ace.

 **Ace** : Look, I-I-I don't want to hear about Miss Keane, Snake! She's an idiot! All right, all right, there. Wh-what about that, Snake?

**[see an anthropomorphic Pop-Tart leaving his toaster home on his toaster car]**

**Snake** : Okay, okayss, you got me on that oness.

 **Ace** : Oh, really, Snake? Are you sure you haven't seen that somewhere in real life before?

 **Snake** : No, no, I haven't sseen that. I mean, why would a Pop-Tart want to live inssside a toasster, Ace? I mean, th-that would be like the ssscariest place for them to livess. Y'know what I mean?

 **Ace** : You're missing the point, Snake. Why would he drive a smaller toaster with whsdkeels? I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? No.

 **Snake** : So, why are they doing thisss? W-what do they wantss?

 **Ace** : Well, that would be obvious to you, Snake, if you'd been paying attention.

***************************************************************

**[at a pawn shop on a small planetoid]**

**Ace** : Look, I'm not paying 70 _(_ **erh** _)_ smidgens for a _(_ **ERHH** _)_ broken defraculator.

 **Pawnbroker** : That is multiphase quantum resonator.

 **Ace** : Well, does it defraculate?

 **Pawnbroker** : Fuck, no.

 **Ace** : Then- then- then it's a broken defraculator.

 **Pawnbroker** : Like you would even know dick about fraculation! Your planet just got cellphones, and the coverage _still sucks!!_

 **Ace** : Yeah, yeah, and your species eat sulfur. So let's say 60 smidgens. I tell you what, I'll do you a favor. I'll throw in a fart.

 **Snake** : Hey uh, Ace, um... y-you think maybe I could get sssomething from this place? L-l-like a sssouvenir? L-like just to have—like something cool, y'knowss?

 **Ace** : Not here, Snake, we'll stop somewhere else, because you know, there's always another pawn shop.

 **Snake** : Oh okay, I just, um... Y'know, I thought that robot over theress looked pretty cool, y'know?

 **Ace** : Oh, it looks cool, huh? That's why you want it?

 **Snake** : Yeah, y'know! I mean, it's different from the ssstuff on Earth. A-a-a-and y'know, y-you take me to all these crazy placesss across the galaxy and- y'know, I don't really have anything to- to remember all those tripssss by. It'd be kinda cool, like a sssouvenir. Y'know, like, what if you passed away or died or sssomething? I wouldn't even have anything to remember... all the cool sssstuff we did, y'know?

 **Ace** : Okay. 60 _(_ **erhp** _)_ for the resonator and my boyfriend wants the sex robot.

***************************************************************

**[Buttercup walks in on Blossom, packing a bag and preparing to run away]**

**Buttercup** : Hey, uh…y-you doing okay? [ **she glares at her** ] I-I kinda know how you feel, Blossom—

 **Blossom** : No you don't. You're the little sister. You're not the cause of your parents' misery, you're just a symptom of it.

 **Buttercup** : Can I show you something?

 **Blossom** : Buttercup, no offense, but a drawing of me you made when you were three isn't gonna make me feel like less of an accident!

 **Buttercup** : [ **points outside** ] THAT, out there? That's my grave.

 **Blossom** : [ **understandably confused** ] Wait, what?

 **Buttercup** : On one of our adventures, Ace, Snake, and I basically destroyed the whole world. So we bailed on that reality and we came to this one. Because in this one, the world wasn't destroyed. And in this one, we were dead. So we came here, a-an-an-and we buried ourselves and we took their place. And every morning, Blossom, I eat breakfast 20 yards away from my own rotting corpse!

 **Blossom** : So…you're not my sister?

 **Buttercup** : I'm better than your sister. I'm a version of your sister you can trust when he says "Don't run." Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's gonna die. [ **beat** ] …Come watch TV?

***************************************************************

**Ace** : Okay, wait here.

 **Snake** : I wanna come with!

 **Ace** : Don't come with. It's boring, it's... [ **burp** ] it's business stuff.

 **Snake** : What kind of businesssss do you do in a parking garage? Y'know, this ssseems a little shady.

 **Ace** : Right, yeah, like nothing shady ever happened in a fully furnished office? You ever hear about Wall Street, Snake? Y-Y-Y'know what those guys do i-in-in their fancy boardrooms? They take their balls and they dip 'em in cocaine and wipe 'em all over each other—y'know, I go around and I do his business in public because I'm not shady. **[someone knocks his window]** Aw, crap. Hey, what's up?

 **Mojo Jojo** : Hey, Ace! [laughs] Here you go, 3,000 flerbos. Do you have the weapon?

 **Ace** : C-Can we please? This is my boyfriend, Snake.

 **Mojo Jojo** : Oh, hi, Snake! I'm Mojo Jojo. I'm an assassin, I buy guns from your boyfriend.

 **Ace** : [ **groans** ] Here, go away!

[ **Mojo opens case** ]

 **Mojo Jojo** : Ooh! Yeah, this looks deadly. So, this shoots antimatter? My target can't be killed with regular matter. Nice to meet ya, Snake! Listen, if ya ever need anybody murdered, [ **hands Snake a card** ] please give me a call.

 **Ace** : You're g— you're giving him a card?!

 **Mojo Jojo** : I have no code of ethics, I will kill anyone, anywhere. Children, animals, old people, doesn't matter. I just love killin'. [ **leaves** ]

***************************************************************

**Ace** : Fuck you, Buttercup! And fuck the government! And fuck me for letting my guard down, which I will NEVER DO AGAIN.

 **Snake** : Geez, Ace! You can't say f— "'f' you" to a little kid!

 **Ace** : I just did, Snake. Here's dessert: fuck you.

 **Blossom** : Look, I think we've all had a tough wedding. Actually, the wedding was beautiful. The reception got out of hand. Anyway, I say we go home, sleep it off, and have a meeting in the morning.

 **Ace** : Yeah, about going home? We can't. Ever.

 **Everyone Else** : Wait, what?! / What?!

 **Ace** : Oh, these guys are looking for us now. Earth will be swarming with them.

 **Bubbles** : Us?!

 **Blossom** : Bubbles—

 **Bubbles** : I want to go home!

 **Ace** : Look, anyone that wants to go back to Earth is free to go back to Earth. But here's what's gonna happen. Alien bureaucrats are gonna arrest you. They're gonna put the intergalactic equivalent of ehh-jumper cables under your nuts and/or labia, and hook 'em up to an alien car battery until you tell them where I am - which I guarantee you you're not gonna know, which I guarantee they won't believe! So who's homesick?

***************************************************************

**Snake** : Buttercup, next time we're hiding in a chlorkian echo nest, can you do me a favour and turn your ringer off?!

 **Buttercup** : It's called carpe diem, Snake. Look it up.

 **Snake** : You look it up, you don't- you don't even know what it means.

 **Buttercup** : That's because losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carp'en all them 'diems.

 **Ace** : Listen to her, Snake. To live is to risk it all, otherwise you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you. Oh, I'm sorry, Professor, I didn't see you there, how much of that did you hear?

 **Professor** : All of it - you were looking right at me. [ **sighs** ] I just -- wanted to say goodbye to Buttercup.

 **Ace** : Cool. Just stay in the driveway; the kill-bots are live, and I took you off the whitelist.

***************************************************************

**Miss Keane** : Now who can tell me the common denominator of these two fractions? _[_ **pause** _]_ You don't know or you're just bored?

 **Buttercup** : Hey listen, you know, if we're all bored over here, wouldn't the common denominator be you?

***************************************************************

**Blossom** : Ace, I'm out of excuses to not be who I am. So who am I? What do I do?

 **Ace** : My advice? Take off. Put a saddle on your universe. Let it kick itself out.

 **Blossom** : I can't do that. the girls, Professor, school, and, as much as I hate to admit it, ABC's _The Bachelor_ \--

 **Ace** : I can make a clone of you. A perfect instance of you, with all your memories. An exact copy in every way. It'll love and provide for the girls, do your job, and consume broadcast-network reality TV on the same allegedly ironic level as you. You could be gone a day, a week, or the rest of your life with zero consequences. The moment you decide to come back, I flip a switch, and the clone's job is done. It feels no pain, it regrets nothing and has zero chance of going _Blade Runner_.

 **Blossom** : If nothing matters, why would you do that for me?

 **Ace** : I don't know, maybe you matter so little that I like you. Or maybe it makes you matter. Maybe I love you. Maybe something about your mother. Don't jump a gift shark in the mouth.

 **Blossom** : I don't know if I can do it.

 **Ace** : Then stay, and luxuriate in the life you can finally know you've chosen. My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, you're finally gonna chill the fuck out.


End file.
